The (Kawaii) Cat's Meow
by Noda no Miko
Summary: The possible begining of an ark noda :blinks: oh, right, this is a summary. Chichiri as done something TERRIBLE and must pay the price. Can Tasuki ever lift the curse noda? Rated for Tasuki's language... as always noda...


Disclaimer: I AM NOT YUU WATASE!!! (Though I wish I was noda) So I don't own Fushigi Yugi…………(Grins) but I *would* like to own Chichiri………(hentai smile) Oooh! Wait! I *do* own something noda!!!! I OWN FURIAKURIN!!!!!! *Sigh* Stick around and you'll find out what that is…………  
  
  
  
^~* NOTE:*~^ This fic is not set on a specific time-line so everyone's alive! YAY!  
  
  
  
The (Kawaii) Cat's Meow  
  
@----------- ( Lookie! It's a rose noda!!  
  
  
  
  
  
It was a peaceful day In the Emperor's palace.  
  
"Ahh! Boshien! Don't touch that noda!!!!" Okay, less peaceful and more psychotic. Fact was Chichiri was babysitting the young Emperor's son.  
  
"Fuckin' brat!" and Tasuki was 'helping'.  
  
"Tasuki! Don't swear in front of him noda! He's a two year old! He'll pick up on it na noda!" the blue-haired monk worried.  
  
"Fuckin'!" Boshien cooed. Chichiri slapped an open palm to his forehead.  
  
"Shh! Boshien! Don't say that any more noda!!!" the kawaii fox face whispered putting a finger to his lips.  
  
"Fuckin'?" Boshien cocked his head at the worried azure haired adult.  
  
"Eh, dun worry Ri-chan, ya can hardly understand what he's sayin'!" Tasuki assured him.  
  
"Fuckin!" Boshien agreed. Chichiri let out an anguished wail into his hands.  
  
"He's the heir to the THRONE noda! He can't toddle around saying that noda!!"  
  
"Fuckin'!" Boshien giggled and clapped his hands. These guys were just too funny!! While the loud orange haired one tried to calm down his other babysitter, Boshien went back to what he was doing before. Playing with a *very* expensive vase. Oops. He dropped it.  
  
//KISH!//  
  
Chichiri was brought out of the reverie that the fiery Tasuki was actually TOUCHING  
  
him (Eee! Just *thinking* about it made our kawaii hero's knees turn to jelly! ^_^!) by breaking glass.  
  
"BOSHIEN NODA!!!!" The would-be Emperor was sitting amongst a heap of broken shards of glass. Chichiri ran to the babe.  
  
"Fuckin'?" what could that man possibly want now? Aww, it wasn't naptime yet was it?  
  
Behind the oblivious Chichiri was a glaring Tasuki.  
  
//Damn kid! I swear he does this EVERY time! Every time I'm about to make my move he does somethin' an' Chiri goes runnin' t' get him outta trouble! Grr…//  
  
"GAH! What the heck noda??" Chichiri's startled voice brought Tasuki back to the present. The object of Tasuki's affection was sprawled out on the floor propped up on his elbows with Boshien at his side. In front of both of them, a strange pink mist was seeping from the shards and taking shape in front of them. It turned out to be-  
  
"Tai-Taiitsukan noda???" Chichiri asked astounded. Boshien began to cry.  
  
"FUUUCKIIIIIN'!!" He and Tasuki wailed in unison. The old oracle in the sugar pink and magenta robes before the trio glared.  
  
"No you imbeciles! I am Taiitsukan's sister!! I am Furiakurin!!" (A/N: Dun ask where I got that from noda………not even I know noda………-_-;;) "Which one of you broke the vase I was sleeping in?" She glared at Boshien. "IT WAS YOU WASN'T IT?" she demanded angrily. Boshien ceased crying and gazed up at the huffing Furiakurin. "What do you have to say for yourself young man?"  
  
"F-fuckin'?" Boshien asked meekly.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU CURSE AT ME!!" It was at that moment our young Boshien realized the downside of having a limited vocabulary. The aged old woman regained her composure. "No matter. I shall put a curse on *you*."  
  
"No noda!" Chichiri shouted. He quickly got to his feet. "It's my fault na noda! I should have been looking after him! It's-it's *my* fault he broke the vase noda!!" Tasuki gasped. Stunned at his beloved monk's gallantry.  
  
"What do you propose we do then?" Furiakurin asked. Chichiri thought for a moment. In that moment, sweat began to bead on his forehead and his pretty little mouth was drawn up in a scowl. His left eyebrow twitched ever so slightly.  
  
"C-curse *me* noda………" he said quietly.  
  
"Oi! Cheech! Ya can't be serious!" pleaded Tasuki. Chichiri nodded grimly. Furiakurin laughed evilly.  
  
"If that is what you want to I shall!! I shall turn you in to a hideous beast!!" Chichiri gulped but faced the ugly old hag bravely. Tasuki tried to move. He tried to shout. He tried to do ANYTHING but stand there like a baka doing nothing. He failed.  
  
"Chichiri………" he said quietly. The blue-haired monk turned his head and stared at Tasuki mournfully. He began to speak quietly. Tasuki couldn't make out what he was saying. Furiakurin built a ball of bright pink glowing light between her hands. It struck Chichiri dead on in his chest. The young monk levitated off of his feet surrounded in an odd pink aura, he threw his head back. He let out a low moan that transformed into a scream. His whole body seemed to shimmer. He began to shrink. Very slowly in first, then his change in size began to decrease rapidly. Then, all that was left was a pile of his clothes on the floor and a bunch of pink smoke and pink crackling electricity. Furiakurin looked slightly confused.  
  
"Erm… he was supposed to be a minitaur." She mumbled. Un-shed tears filled Tasuki's eyes.  
  
"Chichiri………" he whispered. "Ya bitch!" he whirled on Furiakurin. "Ya made him disappear forever!! I-"  
  
"Merow?" inquired a voice behind him. Tasuki turned around. Sticking out of Chichiri's shirt collar was the head of a cat. A cat with blue fur, a little Mohawk, and white Siamese like markings on his feet, tail, and kawaii little fox face. "Meow!" the cat squirmed out of the shirt and shook himself off.  
  
"Chichiri?" Tasuki's eyes widened.  
  
"Meow?" the little blue cat cocked his head.  
  
"Chiri-chan!" Tasuki cried joyously he rushed forward and grabbed Neko-Chichiri. He hugged the fuzzy blue kitten tightly.  
  
// I think I like being a cat better na noda.// thought Chichiri with a slightly drugged (yet never the less happy) look on his face.  
  
"Puuuuurrr………." An unfamiliar noise rose in the young monk's throat.  
  
"Uh, oh heck I still cursed him………" With a flash of pink lightening and a puff of rose scented pink smoke, Furiakurin disappeared. (A/N: Dun ask about me and pink either noda………) "But you will never find out how to change him back!!" her eerie voice echoed around them.  
  
"Fuckin'!!" Boshien laughed and began to pat Chiri-neko all over. Chiri-neko purred some more and took turns rubbing Tasuki and Boshien's heads with his.  
  
"Aww, yer a cute lil kitty ain't ya?" cooed Tasuki affectionately.  
  
"Meow!" //You're cuter noda!!// Chichri tried to speak but could only 'meow'. Tasuki's face took on a thoughtful expression.  
  
"Hm, we gotta figger out how ta change ya back, ne?" He asked as he somewhat pensively rubbed the spot under Chiri-neko's chin.  
  
"Fuckin'." Boshien agreed grimly.  
  
"Right. So, in fairy tales an' stuff it's usually potions that bring them back, right?" Tasuki mused aloud.  
  
"Merow!" Chichiri agreed.  
  
"Right! And who know more about that shit than Mistukake!!" Tasuki shouted triumphantly.  
  
"Fuckin' shit!" Hm, it seems Boshien is a quick little learner.  
  
"Meroooooow!" Chiri-neko threw back his head and wailed again.  
  
"Er, sorry Chi-chan, I'll try not ta do that any more." Chichiri sighed and went limp with exasperation in Tasuki's arms as he climbed to his feet, with Boshien in one are and Chichiri in the other. "C'mon! We got us a doctor t' find!"  
  
"Fuckin' shit!" Agreed Boshien.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ^_^*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Mitsukake was sitting in the sunshine with Tama-neko reading a book when a rather peculiar sight greeted him: Tasuki with a cat and a baby, charging straight at him.  
  
"Miiiiitsuuukaaaakeee-saaaaan!!" Tasuki sang. "How are ya this lovely day?"  
  
"If you want me to go drinking with you, it's out of the question." The doctor replied.  
  
"Oh not at all!" Tasuki sang again.  
  
"Fuckin' shit!" agreed Boshien. Really! This was a pressing matter! Grown- ups these days………!  
  
"Boshien, watch your langue. O.O;;! Boshien!?" Mitsukake's eyes went wide and Tama-neko fell off his shoulder in shock. Tasuki sat Chiri-neko down and laughed nervously.  
  
"Heh… gee, wonder where he picked that up?"  
  
"What do you want Tasuki, aren't you and Chichiri supposed to be babysitting?" the teenager's elder asked. Another nervous laugh.  
  
"Er, yeah……… see th' thing is Boshien broke this expensive piece o' ……… stuff an' this ugly old lady came out an' Chiri got blamed for it and well," Tasuki pointed to the cat that Tama-neko was sniffing curiously.  
  
"She gave you a cat?" Mitsukake ventured. Tasuki sweat-dropped.  
  
"NoOOoo! She turned Chirchir-sama into a cat!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
"So anyway, ya know any potion type thingies that'll turn him back?"  
  
"No."  
  
Sh-shhhhhucks!" Tasuki was about to slip, but then, remembering his promise to his beloved Chichiri-san, caught himself just in time. If Mistukake didn't have a potion, it seemed that they were presented with a slight problem.  
  
Chiri-neko, meanwhile, was having a slightly more er… pressing problem. And that problem was: Tama-neko. The healer's cat had taken quiet a shine to him and was now trying to cuddle little Chiri-neko shamelessly.  
  
"Merow…" Chiri-neko sighed. Tama-neko licked the side of his face. "MERRROW!! FFFT!" Chiri-neko bristled and hissed vehemently.  
  
"Fuckin' shit!" scolded Boshien.  
  
"What's going on here hmmm?" Tamahome popped up from seemingly nowhere. Tasuki flung an arm around him.  
  
"Why Tama-kins! How goes it?" he asked brightly.  
  
"No Tasuki, I will not go drink with you." Tamahome said bluntly. The red- haired bandit bared his fangs.  
  
"Ya idiot!" he snarled and began to take out his tessen.  
  
"Meeeeoooow!" Chichiri vaulted himself from Tama-neko and on to Tasuki's shoulder for protection. //Help! That cat's a nut!!! He tried to……..to- !!!//  
  
Tamahome's eyes widened at the sight of the familiar fox-face. He scooped the reluctant Chiri-neko off of his firey-haired friend's shoulder.  
  
"Hey, this cat looks a lot like Chichiri, ne?" he asked as he inspected the fuzzy kitten closely.  
  
"That is Chichiri." Explained Mitsukake flatly and then launched in to a similar telling of the tale Tasuki told him.  
  
"Wow………" breathed the awestruck martial artist. "Tasuki-san," he continued in the same breathy, mystified voice, "how much do ya think we'll get for him on the market?"  
  
"Gaah!" Tasuki snatched his kawaii little blue kitten from the miser's grasp. "Ya ain't sellin' him t' *no one* 'r else!" he snarled as he wielded his tessen. "We're tryin' t' change him back." He growled. Tamahome's face took on a very thoughtful expression.  
  
"Well, err, I think I have an idea." He said at last.  
  
"Yeah, what is it?" Tasuki asked eagerly.  
  
"Meow! Meow!"  
  
"Fuckin' shit!" At the last reply Tamahome gave Tasuki and odd look.  
  
"Are you sure this is Hotohori's kid an' not yours?"  
  
"Jus' tell me what th' fu-uudge yer crummy idea is!" The mountain bandit earned another odd look from Tamahome.  
  
"Well, I figured that since cats don't like water we could drown him." The martial artist said at last.  
  
"MEEEEEOW!!!!" In a feline panic, Chiri-neko scrambled up onto Tasuki's head.  
  
"Ya idiot!" Tasuki shouted as he whipped out his tessen, THERE WAS NO WAY HE WAS GOING TO LET ANY ONE MESS WITH HIS CHICHIRI!!!! "We wanna cure him! Not kill him! REKKA SHIEN!!" He roared. Flames shot forth from the magical weapon and whirled around the boy.  
  
"(cough) I meant, maybe we dump water on him. (cough, cough.)" The extra-crispy Tamahome explained.  
  
"Well why didn't ya say so!?" Tasuki sighed.  
  
"Fuckin' shit!" agreed Boshien pouting. Tasuki hastily walked over to the nearest koi pond and scooped some water up in a bucket. He walked back over to his circle of friends carefully so as not to spill any of the much feared liquid out.  
  
//Can't believe I'm doin' this………me an' -brrrr- water! Jus' shows how much I love him.// Tasuki though as he shuddered inwardly. "Oi, Cheech, ya ready?" He asked his feline friend. The little cat nodded it's head. Without heed or warning, Tasuki promptly emptied the bucket's contents on our poor kawaii hero. What was left sitting on the stone walkway………. Was a slightly err, damper version of the Chiri-neko we all know and love. Tasuki's face fell.  
  
"Didn't work." He sighed.  
  
"If it helps," said Mitsukake studying Chiri-neko closely, "His whiskers look a bit shorter."  
  
"Fuckin' shit." Boshien replied glumly.  
  
"Thanks for trying to cheer us up Mits." Tasuki sighed as he began to towel dry Chiri-neko. (Our kawaii hero was enjoying this immensely might I add.)  
  
"Why hello everyone!" said a bright little voice. "I was just in the library when I decided to come out here. Looks like everyone got the same idea!" Chiriko chirped as he joined the group of seishi. He was greeted by the sight of his elders standing around a wet ball of blue fuzz. "My, what's going on?" he asked raising his thin brows.  
  
"Chichiri an' Tasuki were babysittin' and Boshien broke a vase and an old hag came out and Chichiri got blamed for breaking the vase so she turned him in to a cat, Tasuki's trying to cure him and I decided since cat's don't like water we dump some on him. Didn't work." Tamahome explained without once pausing to breathe.  
  
"So it's another normal day in Konan I suppose." Chiriko said nonchalantly.  
  
"Oi! Chiriko!" Tasuki smiled in a charming manner at the genius boy.  
  
"Tasuki, I'm too young to drink remember?" the youth asked. Drop went Tasuki's smile.  
  
"I was gonna ask ya if ya knew any ways t' cure him cuz yer smart an' all!"  
  
"Fuckin' shit!" Boshien shook his head, really! Even Chiriko didn't have a clue what was going on! Chiriko's eyes widened considerably.  
  
"Oh, who taught him that?" Tasuki laughed nervously.  
  
"D-does it matter? W-w-we gotta change Ri-chan back!"  
  
"Fuckin' shit!" Three guesses who said that.  
  
"Affirmative." Chiriko agreed. "It just so happens, this book I have here is remotely about the occult and the dark arts, I assure you, I'm not personally in to devil worship, but I was just curious………"  
  
"Don't ya know curiosity kill th' cat, kid?" Tasuki asked raising his eyebrows. After all, if that was true, Chiri-neko would be in great danger. Chiriko sighed.  
  
"Well, anyways, I would bet that there's a spell in here that would aide us." The young boy said as he began to leaf through his book. "Ah! Here were are!"  
  
"Meow!?" Chichiri asked expectantly. //This better be more pleasant that Tamahome-kun's method noda!!// He thought.  
  
"What does it say?" asked Tasuki.  
  
"I'm getting to that part." Chiriko explained. "It says here that if we wish to reverse the said metamorphosis curse that we will need the object in question to consume the entrails of that of the sort of body they have been confined in."  
  
"An' in my language that is………?" Tasuki asked in an utterly clueless voice.  
  
"Chichiri has to eat cat guts." Several pairs of eyes fell on Tama-neko.  
  
"Hey now, you can just forget about that!" Mitsukake said, hugging his favored companion to his chest.  
  
"Meow!" //Not that I would have actually done it anyway noda!!//  
  
"Oh, is someone holding a party out here without me?" Nuriko asked as he wandered over.  
  
"Nuri-chan! How are ya doin' ol' buddy ol' pal?" Tasuki asked as he threw an arm about the smaller, pretty man's shoulders. The plumed-haired seishi peered suspiciously at Tasuki with hazel eyes.  
  
"Are you drunk?" he asked his friend. Tasuki scowled.  
  
"Do I really drink that much?" He demanded.  
  
"Yes." Nuriko replied without missing a beat. Tasuki's wolfishly gold eyes narrowed.  
  
"I wasn't askin' you Okama-chan." He snapped.  
  
"So, why are you all out here?" Nuriko asked airily as he casually knocked Tasuki into the ground. He left quite a nice little imprint. Chiriko calmly explained to the strong young man that of which the others had told him.  
  
"Ya got any ideas Nuri-chan?" asked Tasuki as he peeled himself off of the walkway and once again hugged Chiri-neko to his chest. Nuriko put a pensive finger to his chin. Then he suddenly got a devious gleam in his eye.  
  
//Oooh! I have the most brilliant idea!!!// he thought as his full lips turned up in a smile. //I know that Tasuki likes Chichiri and vise versa so……… this is soooo perfect! Oh, I'm shameless!// Nuriko put his hands on his cheeks and began to giggle like a mad man.  
  
"What's so funny Okama?" Demanded Tasuki. Nuriko (still giggling) none too gently knocked our other kawaii hero in the head. It was at that moment the mountain bandit learned to never make a cross-dresser angry. (Especially if the dross-dresser is a quite strong one.)  
  
"Fuckin' shit!" Boshien laughed along with Nuriko. Nuriko ceased to laugh when he heard the heir speak. He stared at Boshien in a dazed manner and sighed.  
  
"I'm not even gonna ask." He said.  
  
"Well, what were you laughing for?" the somewhat peeved and definitely sore Tasuki demanded. Nuriko feigned innocence.  
  
"Why nothing Tasuki-sama, why nothing at all." He said smiling impishly. "I just have a plan."  
  
"This should be rich………" Grumbled Tamahome to Mitsukake. Nuriko's glare silenced him.  
  
"Well, in fairy tales, when a prince gets turned into an animal, (giggle, giggle) the kiss of true love changes him back (giggle)!" Six pairs of eyes stared at him for a moment.  
  
"You know." Said Tamahome pensively. "It's crazy enough to work."  
  
"Yes," Mitsukake agreed. "But who will kiss Chichiri?"  
  
"I'll go fetch Miaka!" Chiriko chirped. No! He was ruining Nuriko's plan!  
  
"That won't be necessary!" Nuriko said hastily as he grabbed the genius boy's arm. Chiriko looked a bit confused.  
  
"Then who will………?" Boshien, who had caught on to Nuriko's plan smiled and pointed at Tasuki.  
  
"Fuckin' shit!" Nuriko also smiled. He was beginning to like this kid already.  
  
"Ah, what a good idea, little Boshien!" He cried scooping the baby up off the floor. "Since the two of them are so fond of each other, that would be best eh?" this comment earned angry glares from our two kawaii heroes.  
  
"I guess it couldn't hurt right?" asked Tasuki looking down at Chiri- neko.  
  
//Nuriko! I LOVE YOU NODA!!!// thought Chichiri blissfully. Chiri-neko shrugged.  
  
"Alright then," Tasuki gulped. Nuriko clasped his hands and giggled.  
  
"Weeeell, what are you two love-birds waiting for?" he asked expectantly as he rocked on his toes.  
  
"Fuckin' shit!" agreed Boshien. Tasuki glared at the aspiring plotters.  
  
"We're gettin' there, awright?" With that said (after much hesitating, ba- dumping, and erring) Tasuki leaned down and touched his lips against Chiri- neko's. A bright flash of pink light lit up the whole garden, blinding the other seishi. When the bright light dimmed what was standing in the stone walkway……… was Tasuki with his arms wrapped around a mystified Chichiri!!! (insert triumphant music here)  
  
"N-noda??" a joyful look overtook our kawaii hero's face. "I'm me again noda! Thannnnk yooou Tasuki noda!" Chichiri cried as he hugged Tasuki. The others laughed.  
  
"Um, Chichiri-san………" Mitsukake gasped between chuckles, "I am fine with you thanking Tasuki, but your kind of um………naked." As the word was said, Chichiri came to the startling realization that he was in fact, lacking his clothing. Without any time to waste, he yanked off Tasuki's long coat and promptly put it on and buttoned the buttons. Nuriko, who was once again giggling said:  
  
"How about you two take the night off? I'll look after Boshien."  
  
"But-!" Tasuki stammered. HE HAD NEVER BEEN ON A DATE BEFORE!!! WHAT WOULD HE DO???  
  
"I insist!" said Nuriko, pushing Chichiri into Tasuki, which in effect caused both of them to vault in to some bushes. "Even better." Nuriko murmured grinning.  
  
"Fuckin' shit noda………" Boshien yawned, he'd had a long day and now he wanted a nap! A crest of blue hair shot up out of the bushes.  
  
" Did you hear that noda?! He said noda!!!" The crest disappeared again.  
  
"Cheech, ya talk too much!" this was followed by muffles giggles. Nuriko giggled (Once again!) his job was done.  
  
"C'mon guys, let's leave them alone." He said as he put his arms around Tamahome and Chiriko's shoulders.  
  
"What are they doing though?" Chiriko asked.  
  
"I'll tell you when you're older." Mitsuakake said in a parent like voice. Chiriko, being the smart boy he is, automatically figured it out.  
  
"Oh. I know! I read a book about that once, it had a bunch of weird pictures………"  
  
  
  
And they all lived happily ever after!!! (Well, almost all of them)  
  
"Fuckin' shit noda!!" Proclaimed the young prince to his father.  
  
"CHICHIRI!!!!"  
  
*Somewhere, an old hag (Furiakurin: Hey! *Bops Miko-chan on the head with a spork* Miko-chan: Alright, alright, a young hag na noda! *Miko-chan gets bopped again* FINE! The prettiest and youngest woman in the world noda!! Are you happy now?? Furiakurin: Yes.) shrieked and kicked a pink haired Nyan-Nyan out of the way.  
  
"You've not seen the last of me yet Suzaku seishi!!!!!"*  
  
The End (For real this time noda) 


End file.
